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    Tumble Book
    소유자0282019-11-04
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       Write

    addIt is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city.
    Mike Ki
    2019-11-12
    It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree?

    Some children grow in a[the] country and other[s] children grow in a big city. Which is better for them? In my opinion, [the] countryside is [a] better environment for children than a big city. That[My] reason[s] is[are] that if children grow [up] in the country[side], they will be raised more healthful and more humanity[humane].
     

     
    This is a good introduction, which clearly states the topic, your opinion, and your reasons for it. [1] "humanity" is a noun; the adjective form is "humane", meaning "in a human fashion".
     

    The first reason is that, children grow [up] more healthful[healthier in the countryside]. Usually, [the] country air and environment is[are] clean, and [there are] less car[s] in country than [in] a big city. So[This means [2]] children play and breath[e] free [of pollution]. In[For] this reason, children can grow [in a] healthy [way].
     

     
    This is a good body paragraph, because it gives the reason for your opinion (the country) in contrast to the opposite (the city). [2] "so" should be used to link ideas within a sentence, not to begin a follow-up sentence.
     

    The second reason is that in the country[,] children can grow[develop] humanity. Most city people are very busy. In other hand,[While] country people have more free time than a big city people. So[Therefore, [2]] they can spend more time to care of[for] their children. In addition, country children have less stress about [a] busy life and can play free[ly] with their[other] children at no pollution place.[[3] ,] so [[2]] they can grow[develop] more humanity.
     

     
    This is another good body paragraph in the same fashion as the 1st. [3] Try to deal with only one main reason in each body paragraph, rather than mixing them (you have already mentioned the environment in your 1st body paragraph).
     


    In this regard, I think that it is better for children to grow [up] in the country. Recently [in] society, many children are not healthy and[or] humanity[humane [1]], because of no frees playing time and much stress.[,] so [[2]] this world is [becoming] more and more rough[er and rougher]. However, if we are raised our children in the country, they will[would] gain[be able to] laugh again [and be strong and healthy [4]].

     
    [4] Your conclusion should summarize both of the main points expressed in your body paragraphs in support of your thesis.
    addWould you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building?
    소유자
    2019-11-12
    Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
    There are briefly two types of places to live in: a traditional house and a modern apartment building. Although it is true that a traditional house has offered people advantages from old times, I believe that the advantages of a modern apartment building outweigh those of a traditional house. In this essay, I will show the reasons for my decision as follows.
    This is a great introduction!
     


    Most of all, a modern apartment building provides people with well-equipped facilities raging ranging from an elevator to an automatic air-conditioning system. In other words, people living in a modern apartment building can receive favors from modern technologies. For examples, as an automatic air-conditioning system which can be hardly found in traditional houses mechanically controls the inside air of an apartment to maintain proper humidity and temperature regardless of changing weather and seasons, I can concentrate on my study and take a rest well. Particularly, as a modern apartment building is equipped with the Internet network, I can easily find out a lot of information needed for my study. In this regard, well-equipped facilities provided by a modern apartment building make me live in a modern apartment building.

     
    Be careful of your spelling ? the difference between “rage” and “range” is just one letter, but there is a great difference in meaning! Also, the phrase used to introduce a sentence is “for example” ? the “example” is singular, because you will usually introduce only one example at a time.
     

    Moreover, the design of a modern apartment building is safer and more comfortable than that of a traditional house. Especially, as a kitchen and restrooms are located in inside of home, mothers can comfortablely comfortably make meals irrespective of the condition of weather or time and family members can easily go to the restrooms in at night without any scary fear. In addition, from the structural point of view, because thieves are hard to cannot easily come into an apartment if the door of an apartment is locked, it is safe to live. In this repect respect, safe and comfortable aspects of a modern apartment building are another reason I choose a modern apartment to live in in which to live.

     
    Avoid ending sentences in a preposition. A preposition must have an object, but cannot if it is the last word in a sentence. Also, “fear” is a noun, whereas “scary” is an adjective. Objects must be nouns.
     


    In summary, a modern apartment building provides people with well-equipped facilities such as an automatic air-conditioning system and the Internet network. What is more, the design of a modern apartment building offers safer and more comfortable conditions to live in than that of a traditional house as I mentioned above. Therefore, I prefer a modern apartment building to live in rather than a traditional house.

     
    “Rather” is needed in the last sentence to complete the comparison.

     

    <= Comment in next essay =>

    Contents> Make sure that you choose the correct spelling of words ? always try to re-read your essay before turning it in, so that you can catch some of the smaller mistakes.

    Organization> Other transitional expressions you can use include consequently, besides, on the one hand, on the other hand, additionally, in addition to, thus, hence, also, again, and next, to name a few.

    addSome people choose friends who are different from them.
    소유자
    2019-11-12
    Some people choose friends who are different from them. Others choose friends who are similar to them. Compare the advantages of having friends who are different from you with the advantages of having friends who are similar to you. Which kind of friend do you prefer for yourself? Why?

     

    There are largely two different groups of people in selecting friends: people who make friends who are similar to them, and people who make friends who are different from them. Both people have their own advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will compare each advantage and present my preference.
     

     
    This is a good introduction!
     


    On one hand, some people want to make friends who are different from them. They say that through these friends, they can have various experiences. In other words, if friends have different hobbies, occupations and talents, not only can they learn a lot more things from them, but also they can receive some help in their friends’ major subjects. They also think that meeting friends, who are different from them, teaches them how to treat other people. People should meet various kinds of people in their life lives. And iIf somebody has many friends, and his friends have peculiar characteristics, he can easily understand other people he meets in various situations such as business, and school.

     
    When you use a plural adjective to describe a noun, that noun will also be plural, as in “their lives.” Since there is more than one person (as shown by the plural pronoun “their”), there will be more than one life. Also, try to avoid using “and” to begin sentences. It can be done correctly, but should not be used too often, as it is often done incorrectly.
     

    On the other hand, some people choose friends who have the same characteristics with as them. These people say that only similar friends can understand them when they are in trouble. For example, if they have some difficulty in with their girlfriends, schools, or parents, they need some help such as advice, encouragement, and consolation from their intimacies intimates. However, if their friends have totally different characteristics, their friends cannot understand their minds, and cannot give any help. And they also insist that they feel comfortable when they meet similar friends. If they have similar lifestyles and interests, they can easily decide when they meet, where they go and what they do, and there is are few confronts confrontations between them.

     
    “Intimacy” is an action, whereas “intimate” can be used to mean a person. Also, people have difficulties “with” someone or something. “Confront” is a verb, and “confrontation” is a noun, and since you used it in the plural sense, the corresponding verb must be plural also.
     


    In conclusion, I think making friends who are similar to me is much better than making friends who are different from me. Though we can have various experiences when we meet friends who are different from us, the most important things in friendship is understanding each other. And if friends have different thoughts with from us, they cannot understand us. So I think similarity is more important than variety in making friends.

     
    If you only list one thing that is important, then you do not need to make “thing” plural. Also, I added “making friends who are” to the first sentence to complete the comparison.

     

    <= Comment in next essay =>

    Contents> Choose your plurals carefully. A plural adjective will most often describe a plural noun, and subject-verb combinations should always agree in number.

    Organization> Make sure that you choose the correct part of speech for the appropriate part of the sentence. A noun can be an object or subject, and an adjective will describe a noun.

    addSome people like to travel with a companion, other people prefer to travel alone.
    Mike Ki
    2019-11-12
    Some people like to travel with a companion, other people prefer to travel alone. which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
    People can choose between two ways of traveling traveling alone and traveling together with other people. Though traveling with a companion can be beneficial to the traveler in some ways, I prefer to travel alone because traveling aloneit offers opportunities to reflect upon myself, and I can easily make a decisions on something what to do or see in traveling alone .
     
    [This is a structurally perfect introduction: it describes both choices, states your preference, and briefly gives your reasons for it. The only improvement it needs is less repetition of words or phrases by leaving them out or using pronouns.]
     

    Above of all, I can gethave thean opportunity to think more about myself inwhen traveling alone. In other words, when I travel alone, the chance to reflect on myself and plan for my future life can be given to me without any interference. We need to reflect on ourselves and reorganize our lives to prepare for our future, which could be done very well in the absence of any disturbancedistraction. If I travel with my friend, I am forced to mind my friend as well as myself, which makesrenders me be unable to concentrate on my own business. In these respects, traveling alone makeslets us be able to concentrate on ourselves.

     
    [This is an excellent body paragraph, because it describes the effect of both of the choices, yet clearly indicates which is better for you. It is supported by a general statement of need rather than an example, which is just fine.]
     

    Moreover, traveling alone makes leaves me be capable of deciding on any everything as I wish. What I mean by this is that it is much easier to make a decisions on about some things in when traveling alone than with a companion. When I am traveling with my friend, my taste could be a little bit different from his. For example, I would like to go see the a gallery, while he would like to go see the some other place, like the a castle, so, we have to waste our precious time to on comprimise compromise, and I can might even have a fight with him. As you can see the above , we can more easily decide on some things in when traveling alone
     

     
    [This is another great body paragraph. This time, it supports the thesis by describing the disadvantages of the other side, a strong tactic we call proof by counter-example. The grammatical errors all have to do with subtle aspects of expressing the general case (a instead of the, everything in stead of anything).]
     

    In short, traveling alone offers us opportunities to think more about ourselves for the future, and makes it possible for us to decide on somethings without any trouble. For these reasons, I would like to travel by myself rather than travel with a friend.

     

    [This is a perfect conclusion, as it clearly refers to the two main ideas to support the thesis. There is not extraneous information.
    The variety of sentence structures in this essay is good, and no less than 12 different transitional expressions are used perfectly without a single repetition, quite a feat!]

    addLuck has nothing to do with success.
    Mike Ki
    2019-11-12
    When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Many people think that a successful person can become this kind of a person because of not only [because of] hard work, but also good luck. I really agree [with] that sentence[idea]. That is to say, good luck is one of the [most] important points [things needed] for people to be a successful person.
     

     
    This is a very strong start. Just watch some of your word choice and phrasing. A lot of the changes I made here had to do with word choice. Work slowly and make sure you proofread. As well, be careful of singular and plural forms. You can't say: "...for people to be a successful person", you have to choose one: are you talking about the plural "people" or the singular "person". Good start.
     

    First, I have a relative who became a famous architect in my hometown. During his school life, his grade[s1)] was [were1)] not good, but he was really interested in painting and building a house[s1)] until he graduated in from high school, so he entered into a low class college.
    However, most of the people disregarded his ability, but his school senior who lived in his neighborhood saw my relative's works2) by chance and knew his ability, so he gave [him] an opportunity to get a job in his design company. Eventually, Now my relative is a very famous architect in my province. Therefore, good luck is an important source.
     

     
    1) This is very well done, watch plural forms... 2) In this case, you can just use "work". In relation to the arts, "work" refers to more than one piece of work. Very interesting example and extremely well written. Great work!
     

    However, there are many people who never do something [anything1)] to fulfill their dream, [they1)] just wait for good luck. In my opinion, good luck may come into people's life easier than other people in this case that people who [when they1)] make an effort to work hard all the time. Therefore, people who always work hard can get an opportunity such as good luck because these kinds of people [are always2)] prepare[ing2)] something to fulfill their work or dream all the time.
     

     
    1) Ok. This sentence is a little problematic. You have repeated "people" three times in one sentence. Notice how I changed this sentence and made it more direct. Be careful. Make sure you proofread 2) You have some good ideas here, watch your phrasing. Good effort.
     


    In conclusion, people who want to be a successful people need a combination of work hard [hard work]and good luck, but luck can't be given to people easy[easily]. That is to say, first, work hard, and you can get good luck easier than when compared to never work[ing] hard.

     
    Watch your word choice. Overall, this essay is very well written. The mistakes you are making are not serious and can easily be weeded out with more practice. I really enjoyed this essay. You did a fine job!

     Write

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